


Things Tend to Escalate - Vol. 1

by hippoprima



Series: Seph is a Weirdo [1]
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Gen, Humor, I didn't want humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-12 21:02:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3355151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hippoprima/pseuds/hippoprima
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sephiroth encounters Cloud incidentally and things quickly got out of hand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things Tend to Escalate - Vol. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta'd. I don't know what's happening here.

It starts, as most things do, with something small.

 

Sephiroth was heading to discuss the possible promotion of a SOLDIER 3rd with Lazard when he passed the troopers, though that in itself wasn’t anything noteworthy. As he came down the hall reviewing the merits of that particular SOLDIER in his head, he was only dimly aware that they were changing guards. He took no notice of them and strode right in to Lazard’s office. 

The meeting was expectantly short since it was more or less a formality; the 3rd had done very well so far and if he meets the mako tolerance requirement for a 2nd, the promotion would be guaranteed. Still, he didn’t think it was short enough that when he got back on the elevator he would be in the same one as the newly off duty trooper, who went rigid with tension and scooted near the doors when he leaned against the back wall. Ah well, something to look at on the ride down.

The boy was… just that, a mere boy. Noticeably smaller than most other troopers and tiny compared to himself. What was even more memorable than his small stature was his very blond and very fluffy looking hair now that his helmet was off. It didn’t look the slightest bit crushed! Sephiroth used the general populace’s inability to look in his direction as an opportunity to carefully study the boy’s hair without fear of breaching social protocol. He even silently slid closer for a better look. 

It was like a dandelion poof, out in all directions but liable to wave at the faintest breeze. Sephiroth decided to chance it and gently passed a hand through the very tips of some strands to see them bend, taking care not to let the poor unsuspecting trooper feel what he was up to.

He supposed he should feel _guilty_ , cowing the boy into a corner and molesting his hair, but when he exited onto his floor Sephiroth really couldn’t care less. Things of interest were few and far in between, and if he didn’t take pleasure in them when they showed up then well, there really wouldn’t be much to living, would there?

It was, however, even _more_ interesting that now that he has seen that head once, he would continue to spot the golden dandelion with growing frequency in the coming months. Cumulating in, surprise surprise, Zack forcing them to meet formally. Or officially but informally. Maybe it wasn’t official either. Zack was difficult to categorize.

"………"

"………"

So perhaps this meeting isn’t going quite that well.

"Oh c’mon! Say something you two! Seph, this is my new buddy Cloud. He’s from a small town too! We’re backwater experts! Cool right? Though Tseng wasn’t too impressed with that. Hey Cloud say ‘hi’ to the General! He’s your idol right? You’ve got a poster of him? Aww don’t be shy, a lotta people’s got posters of him…"

Well, with Zack as the initiator, intermediary, _and_ the ambient noise, one can’t expect _too_ much of anything. And the dandelion… Cloud, has turned into a tomato. The effect made more entertaining by his widening eyes of watery blue. They were quite blue. And getting more watery by the millisecond. Hmm.

"…Cloud, is it?"

"SIR YES SIR!" The poor boy was getting closer to hysterics than parade address and they all winced at the volume and tone. There was a blissful reprieve from the ambient noise before it started up again.

"Aww Spike! You don’t have to be so nervous, Seph’s not gonna bite. He has a scary reputation but really, would you have it any other way? Can you imagine a big softie for a General? Someone who… I don’t know, wears bunny slippers? Oh but I did give Seph a pair of bunny earmuffs as a joke once…"

"…last name?"

"…Strife, sir." This time the volume was so low that if not for the squeak, he might not have heard it. Sephiroth hoped this wasn’t characteristic of the boy but he can’t be too hopeful. Zack and his friends all seem to have a defect of some kind to them each. Zack was always so loud and rambunctious he never seem to really think things through or have volume control. Kunsel never took off his helmet and always knew things somehow. Cissnei was a Turk.

Still, never let an opportunity go by.

"…may I touch your hair, Cloud?"

"…………..????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Oh, there was the tomato again. Maybe _that_ was the defect of this one. If so, it’s not an unbearable one.

"…it looks quite soft and I would like to know if it is indeed so." With that explanation Sephiroth shifted his weight and folded his hands before him like the patient and attentive butler he saw in a movie once, hoping to appear less intimidating to be given permission.

It was not working.

The tomato… Cloud, was not only alarmed, but looked to be getting confused too. Sephiroth can see the question marks starting to replace those bright blue peepers of his. The ambient noise hasn’t said anything remotely useful or even pertinent either. He sighed. Better take initiative then.

Slowly, he lifted his hands to the tiny trooper’s eye level before moving them forward and up into the mass of blond locks. The ambient noise abruptly cut off but he paid it no mind as he slid his fingertips along the boy’s scalp and scritched gently as one would a chocobo. He smiled to himself at the comparison.

Taking further advantage of the fact no one has stopped or questioned him yet, he took a large step forward and loomed closer to the little chocobo… Cloud. This was the distance Zack used with everyone so it should be alright but one can never be too sure since any closer would require the use of strong adhesives. But the new proximity allowed Sephiroth to bend down until his face was buried in the fluffy hair. He inhaled deeply.

What an interesting combination of scents! There was a faint trace of a fragrant shampoo, a lot of cooking grease but Zack already mentioned kitchen duty, some gun powder, and no small amount of natural body odour that was rather comforting. Granted, he was a little disappointed chocobo greens wasn’t a part of the mix but it was overall not unpleasant so he lowered his head all the way down to rest his face on the boy’s head and draped his arms along his back.

Cloud, what an interesting creature.

Unfortunately Zack, never one to let the evils of silence to reign for long, asked him with an odd hitch to his voice, “Seph… What are you doing?”

He had no idea. This calls for a snippy retort.

"What does it _look_ like I’m doing?”


End file.
